We went to Target this weekend to do some Christmas shopping. First of all, don’t ever go to Target on Saturday. It was a war zone. There were so many mother’s yelling at their kids and threatening “No dinner!” that I thought I might pass out. You have to be very focused when shopping in that kind of mania, but it’s also really easy to get distracted there.

eggFor instance, while looking for a certain present (that I won’t mention, in case the recipient is reading this), my shopping buddies and I came across the Egg & Muffin Maker.


I mean, is it THAT hard to put some bread in the toaster and poach a frigging egg? Apparently so. It’s like bringing McDonald’s to your home! Maybe I’m anti Egg McMuffin maker because I live in a tiny NYC apartment with hardly ANY counter space, but this seems like a completely extraneous appliance. I just don’t get it.

The other bizarro thing we found that could easily be The Most Useless Item Ever, was Mack’s Warm Air Ear Dryer. I almost don’t have words…

And the tag line is: “Dry your ears the natural way with warm, soothing air.”

Not to be difficult or anything, but wouldn’t the natural way be to just let your ears dry on their own, or possibly rub ’em with a towel? No, they’re probably right. It’s probably best to spend 135 dollars on a little contraption that will blow air into your ear. Oy vey. If you really need air blown into your ears, just ask a friend—it’d be a lot cheaper.

topHowever, as usual I was impressed with the new Go! designer, Erin Fetherston. She’s really into hearts, which is both fun and over the top. I bought an adorable grey cardigan with heart-shaped buttons that is very soft and flattering. I’ve barely taken it off since I bought it! I tried on a few other things, but the sweater was my fave.

All in all, we had a great time at Target. It’s really easy to get lost in there. Especially the holiday section of the store (I practically had to tear my sister away). I’m pretty sure it’s the glitter—that stuff is SO hard to say no to.

About alexgirl

I'm a YA novelist livin' in fabulous Brooklyn with my husband and our two kitties. I love film making, photography, music, chocolate, sushi, friends, cardio, TV, and a bunch of other crap I can't think of. One published novel, Back Talk, available at Amazon. (and another one in progress!)
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29 Responses to Bullseye

  1. WAT says:

    Holy freakin; cow, this post is very funny. Yes, imagine how many more useless trinkets and products there are out there. The Egg/Toast thingie looks kind of cool, but so odd actually. Yeah, ya know what? I gotta get that ear warmer/dryer thing now, ’cause Lord knows I can’t use a swab or piece of toilet paper to dry my ears and stuff ya know? Gonna make a Target run now I say!

    And of course, all this junk is MADE IN CHINA no doubt, adding to my immense sense of security that these gadgets will still be working in pristine condition within a year’s time and that I won’t get any lead poisoning or anything!

  2. Funny post! The Egg and Muffin Maker sounds great! I’ve never seen one of those!

  3. Seraphine says:

    You got me giggling. I’ve never seen an ear
    dryer before. There must be a medical use
    for it, like melting earwax buildup or something.
    Of course, there are weird people who would
    stick something like that anywhere on their
    bodies, so if I see one laying around, I’m
    completely avoiding touching it. Gross! Gross!

  4. Shaira says:

    Did you see a tea-maker there? Those are great. You put water in the machine, and it heats it up for you. Much like a kettle, except of course, it’s not a kettle – it’s a whole other contraption that does the same thing as a kettle, but costs more and is less versatile.

  5. riz says:

    I’m afraid of target during the holidays! Yikes. That Fetherston cardigan was one of the better items. I guess I just can’t pull of baby-doll.

  6. Emma says:

    aaaawwh so love the toater =) cute great post

  7. Glitter is SO fab and distracting!
    People have way too much time on their hands (disguised as crazy busy time) thinking up things like that egg/muffin thing. Maybe we should come up with some totally ridiculous invention that they’ll sell at Target!

  8. Tiff says:

    both of those things are so retarded. i am with you!!! what the crap? [as my sis would say]

    ok, totally LOVE that sweater! i might have to get one, too. in fact i am off to look at them online. thanks for the heads-up!


  9. I can only imagine that people with the toaster/eggamajig NEVER clean it just like they NEVER clean their toasters, so the egg part gets all crusty and nasty. ew. Kudos for braving Target on a Saturday. I went to Rockefeller Center, it was rough!

    I will get back to you soon on the holiday party, I have to check with my dear luvah on what plans, if any, we have already. Thanks so much for the invite!!!!! xoxoxo

  10. Samantha says:

    Hey, Alex! Love your new grey cardigan in the new neutral (which I can’t get enough of, myself!). The ear warmer is a hoot. I think I’ll pass until they have a more snazzy version — diamond studded or something. 🙂 I think the egg et muffin thingy is just one of the many for those who are compelled to have every small kitchen appliance on the market. I live in a small space too, where counter is at a premium and I’m not into clutter either.

    Will email you in a few — or in the AM so be on the lookout. 🙂

    My best,


  11. molly says:

    im very confused as to why it has been so long since ive been to your blog

    anyway, i deeply enjoyed your target adventure
    it makes me repeat, for the millionth time: WHY DO WE NOT HAVE TARGET IN CANADA????????????

  12. jayne says:

    honestly, the egg mcmuffin things looks pretty freakin awesome, even if i haven’t set foot in a mcdonalds since 2005

  13. Harith says:

    Secret shame: Target on Saturday morning is one of my favorite things.

    The thing about the “ear dryer” is that, in order for a new product to be invented, someone has to have thought that wet ears were a serious, unresolved problem. Someone said to themselves, “If only there were something I could do about my wet ears.”

  14. pins&needles says:

    I’ve seen the McMuffin maker and I thought the same thing too because I know how to make one without those. If you’re going to get off your lazy butt and make one, you have the option to half-ass it too? That’s pretty lame.

    I have never seen the ear dryer before. I know people who can’t stand their ears being wet, but they just use cotton swabs or something. Not buy an expensive device that is solely for just keeping the ears dry.

    I must say, though, despite all the fancy gadgets I’ve seen in Target, I do get distracted by the cool stuff, like fancy bowls and adorable clothes.

  15. Annie says:

    Hello AlexGirl,
    It’s nice to meet you. Why or why were you researching Arkansas? Checking out the home state of Huckabee (known here as Huckleberry)? Or thinking of a move to more relaxed and warmer climes? Whatever, you have a delightful way about you, I can tell from the blog entries I read.

  16. emma says:

    I got the most adorable Alice Temperley dress there.
    And is it wrong that I think the Egg McMuffin maker is the best thing that ever happened? I may buy one for my uncle for Christmas, because a) he loves McMuffins and hates McDonalds, and b) he doesn’t really care about the quality of his food. I do love me some good extraneous appliances.

  17. Heather says:

    Wow, that is one EXPENSIVE ear dryer!!! I should add it to my Wish List as a joke! But, I would be depressed if someone actually got it for me! hahaha
    I looooove Target, I can stay in there forever looking at shit and not even realizing what time it is. Walmart however, NO WAY. Definitely do not risk that one on a Saturday morning.

    Oh, and THANKS for my meerkat, I love him!!!! I was trying to post a response in my own comment section for it, but blogger was being weird and not letting me.

    Happy Holiday!!! 🙂

  18. Steve Buser says:

    For those “have to have” things like ear dryers, don’t you wish they posted along side it a list of the people who actually bought it?

    –steve buser
    New Orleans Daily Photo

  19. Lauren.] says:

    Ear dryer! I’m crying I’m laughing to hard! That’s a classic! Aha.
    I’m done now.

  20. G.G. says:

    Target is one of those places where I lose track of time, there’s so much to gaze at. I love that cardie! I guess I’m going to have to make the trek to Target 🙂

  21. Annie says:

    Hi again Alex Girl,

    It’s unlikely that I can be of any great help advising you about the teen scene here in Little Rock since I’m way past that age and didn’t raise my child here.

    You asked about my favorite places and they include the Clinton Presidential Library, Peabody Hotel, River Market area, the wonderful Pulaski County Library system, Central High School and the museum across the street (it’s part of the federal park system as well as an active high school), the vibrant Hispanic community in south Little Rock, the Big Dam Bridge where people walk or ride their bikes over the Arkansas River, Pinnacle Mountain State Park, Two Rivers County Park, Community Bakery, Boulevard Bread Company. Most of these places have internet links.

    Best to you,

  22. Alexa says:

    Ha. I work there. =)

  23. I got Andy’s order, thanks SO much!!! I can’t wait to ship it off to you all today. I hope there is much love for them. I can’t believe how insane business has been for the pendants. I think we will be stopping by your place on Friday, it just depends on how my wrappin situation is then, since I am leaving Sat morning to go northward for the holidays, but even for a drink or two, whats the harm? much blog love xoxoxoxoxo

  24. Modern Marie says:

    target is my life – im actually making a trip there today lol – yea, on a saturday lol!

    love the erin fetherston as well!

  25. -ciao bella- says:

    an ear blower… haha it sounds just like something you would use in an asylum or something. i love how crazy some people are.

    and i actually bought that cardigan this week!! we think the same– i absolutely love it!! it’s so soft and at such a good price… 🙂

  26. Jen says:

    I think the egg and muffin maker is so cool, it would save me so much time in the morning!

  27. ambika says:

    The ear dryer is beyond heinous. The uselessness of something like that is why other countries hate us.

  28. WendyB says:

    I bet they have 10 different styles of ear dryer in Japan.

  29. Surferweller says:

    Yes the eardryer sounds like a crazy idea. To anyone who spends their life locked up indoors watching telly or working 8 hours a day on their computer. However if you spend alot of time outside and in the water, like myself (i dive most days, surf 3-4 times a week, and wakeboard when its flat. On top of which I drive an open top buggy-cold air) then you´re ears are wet alot of the time. Add some cold air on top of that, and if the water isn´t filter -clean, a good old ear infection could be yours!!! Yes, of course a hair dryer could be used on a low setting, but is bulky, especially if you travel, and not as quick and efficient as the ear dryer probably is. It has been made Specifically to do the job it does. I´ll bet a BMXer who snowboards could use one helmet for both sports, but will probably buy two, because each is made TO DO A SPECIFIC JOB.
    I am of course just playing devils advocate, and haven´t yet decided if its worth buying. But for some people it almost certainly is.

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