Dreams of Starbucks, makeup, and hot guys.

I don’t know what my deal is, but I have been having tons of crazy dreams lately. I wonder if it’s because I’ve been staying up until 1 or 2 AM every night? Or maybe it’s not even that they’re so oreo“crazy,” I just think it’s strange that I’ve been remembering them so clearly. As I was saying to Stiletto Heights the other day, dreams can seriously be affected by what you’ve been eating before bed. If you eat a few Oreos before lights-out-time, the sugar will seriously mess with your dreams, and same goes for pizza—something to do with the dairy, perhaps?


Last night’s dream was a 2 parter. In the first dream, I was some kind of urban Sherpa, leading startwo random hot guys on a trek through the mountains to find the best Starbucks in the world. Apparently, in dreamland, the best Starbucks is somewhere amid the mountains johnand arroyos of my hometown of Santa Fe, NM. And when you’re leading two uber hot guys (one of them looked like John Krasinski, and the other one was just a random cute guy I probably saw on the subway*), you can imagine I got a little bit lost. We never found Starbucks. Sob. But we did find a sale at the Clinique store, which leads me to Part 2.

* Note: Andy, don’t take it personally that you weren’t one of the hot guys in my dream. You’re hot all the time!


Part 2: A friend and I waited in line at a Clinique sale counter forever—probably 3 days or something—cliniqueand when we finally got to the front, there was a balding, middle-aged douchebag sitting on a folding chair at a folding table, holding a few different tubes of eyeliner and concealer in his sweaty palms. Yuck! amyI told the guy I refused to wear liquid eyeliner because I didn’t want to look like Amy Winehouse, and instead wanted an eyeliner pencil with a smudge tip. While he was riffling around for something, his assistant came around behind me and started trying to cover up my bald spot—in my dream I had a BALD SPOT!
Talk about “nightmare.” It was very traumatic. But, you’ll be happy to know that when it was all over (the grubby Clinique salesman could not find eyeliner for me), I looked to my left and there was a Starbucks! Not the Starbucks Mecca the hot guys and I had been looking for, but at least it was a nice way to end the dream.

About alexgirl

I'm a YA novelist livin' in fabulous Brooklyn with my husband and our two kitties. I love film making, photography, music, chocolate, sushi, friends, cardio, TV, and a bunch of other crap I can't think of. One published novel, Back Talk, available at Amazon. (and another one in progress!)
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18 Responses to Dreams of Starbucks, makeup, and hot guys.

  1. Meg says:

    Firstly, I will say one thing, cheese dreams should be avoided at all costs.
    Secondly, hot damn! What happened to J.Krasinski? His new haircut is really working for him.
    Thirdly, a baldspot? Did you have this baldspot when the two hot guys were there? Because that could potentially be a very embarrasing dream situation, sort of like when you see a person with a really big face wart and you’re trying to be polite, but they know that you’re looking at it and thinking WTF?! Like that.
    Amy Wino’s hair reminds me of a spider’s arse.

  2. molly says:

    wow, your dream blew my mind

    can i borrow you brain???

  3. jayne says:

    omfg! that is hilarious! a sherpa for starbucks!? and then you got lost only to find clinique? wow, your dreams are awesome, i need to eat pizza and oreos before bed more often! haha 😉

  4. Celise says:

    OMG, you’re freakin’ hysterical. I see a book in your future, Miss Author Lady. Those dreams are true writing material right there. My second book 50% reoccurring dream, actually. Once I wrote about it, I stopped having it. Go figure.

    My dreams are sometimes determined by the last thing I watched or the last book I read. Which means my dreams are usually about drop dead gorgeous guys and hot sex. Go figure.

  5. What were you dong buying Clinique from a old sweaty douchebag? Sounds like a nightmare! But always fun to dream about cute guys…and coffee – damn, now all I can think about is cookies and pizza!
    Keep up the crazy dreamin’ it makes a great read!

  6. riz says:

    I was feeling you one the Starbucks trek, but the Clinique part seemed like a nightmare! I wish I had dreams this cinematic – usually i can’t even remember mine. This seems like something out of a Wes Anderson flick – awesome!
    Oh and I was just finishing eating some Oreos while i read this, ha!

  7. WAT says:

    Thanks for the Oreos recommendation just before hitting the hay! I want my dreams to be vivid and wild. Hell, throw in John Krasinski too and I’ll be one happy camper!

  8. Drusilla says:

    What a dream, really…I think the bald spot bit might have a bit of symbolism attached, but can’t think just what that might be.
    And I’m with you on the liquid liner bit. I have no idea how crackheaded Amy Winehouse can actually be if she gets all that slap on her eyes every day without going all panda on it. Some credit for motor neuron coordination is due..

  9. Modern Marie says:

    i love having dreams – urs are hilarious! u should def look it up what it means on google – like symbols in the dream and such. ur so lucky john krasinski (or a look alike) was in ur drem, im still waiting for him to pop up in mine lol

    My recent dreams: my teeth chipping and dissolving; trading houses with a friend; swimming in a lake with a drain; seeing Bush in a little red wagon; trex and miss piggy climbing a mountain… mine can get pretty bizzare!

    sweet dreams hehe

  10. Arwen says:

    ‘kay, what can I say about that but OH MY GOD! (This can also be taken as: Lord, that’s got to be the best looking guy I’ve seen in my entire life)

    Starbucks?

  11. I think this sounds like the plot for your next book!!!

    lol, have you been having oreos before bed again?

  12. pins&needles says:

    Oooh….. John Krasinski. I love him in the Office. I would love it even more if he’s in my dreams. Your dream has all things I love: hot guys, coffee, and Clinique. Sucks about the bald spot problem, but at least its not real. If you want to interpret that (don’t know if you think as hard as I do about dreams), it could mean you’re afraid of showing a weakness or insecurity you have and want to cover it up. Or it could mean nothing and you need to quit eating Oreos before going to sleep.

  13. sophie says:

    Now those are some crazy dreams. I can rarely remember mine!

  14. WendyB says:

    LOL @ the Starbucks trek. Relatively recently, I dreamed that I was giving a speech at Pamela Anderson’s son’s Bar Mitzvah!!!

  15. SRR says:

    Hehe…those are pretty interesting dreams all right. I’m jealous! They’re definitely waaaay better than the ones I had recently. All of them were about things I’ve been doing at work (can’t seem to get away from it).

  16. I always dream of John, so hot! Stay away from the oreos and leave him for my dreams.

  17. What you eat can really affect your dreams! And I get very strange dreams when I’m too tired!

  18. Gina says:

    first off, i’d like to start by saying that I LOVE your blog! seriously, it is so entertaining and i’ve read like all of your things up to this point (i loved the smoothie dream, too!) and it just reminded me of a dream that i had recently. i think it was due to the fact that i had spirit gum in my system. (i was a man in a play and they had to put a mustache on me…anyways.) i had to move to michigan, where i landed in a magical portal that was haunted by mac n’ cheese eating gorgons. then, my old athletic director shows up and his last name starts with a t, so i always would call him mr. t and he just says, “I pity the fool.” and walks out of my dream. so i’m left to fight off a bunch of easy mac stealin gorgons by myself. it was like crazy. seriously crazy. sorry for the really obnoxiously long post.

    p-out, gina

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