Guess what? My YA novel, Back Talk, is coming out next week!! What better way to celebrate than have a contest and give away a copy.
As most of you know, I love love love Top 5 lists. So here’s the deal. I’ll give a quick blurb/quote from Back Talk, and I want YOU guys to come up with a Top 5 list about the book. You can include music, food, books, places, fashion designers, movies… Anything!!!!

I’ll choose my favorite Top 5 and send the lucky winner a signed copy of Back Talk. Sound fair? Okay, here’s a clip from the first chapter:

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“Metallic or electric blue?”

Gemma sighed painfully, looking over at Dana’s latest monumental wardrobe crisis. “Metallic.”

Dana narrowed her deep green eyes at Gemma. “Do you really like the metallic shirt better or are you just saying that so I’ll shut up? Because if you—”

“Jeez, Dana!” Gemma exploded. She flopped down on the bed, pretending to strangle herself.

Poor Gemma. A closet fit was one thing, but helping Dana was like prepping Lindsay Lohan for the Academy Awards. Dana needed Steven Cojocaru, not Gemma Winters. The words “fashion advice” and “Gemma” were as mismatched as post-laundry-day socks, but her enthusiasm was charming, in a Forrest Gump sort of way.

“Dana, the metallic shirt is cute. So was the sexy green sweater you showed me five minutes ago, and the grey-and-white Chloe tunic you tried on ten minutes before that. The only one I didn’t like was that green burlap dress. I know it’s vintage or whatever, but it looked like you found that thing in a Dumpster and it should have stayed there. Sorry.”

“Fine.”

Dana discarded the electric blue camisole by throwing it at Gemma’s head and hung the metallic blouse over the closet door. Wise choice. Electric blue made Dana look like Smurfette on meth. The silk camisole slid off Gemma’s shoulder, crumpling in a heap on the hardwood floor. She couldn’t help but wonder if Dana was subconsciously using her as a laundry basket—the fashion elite so often blur the lines between friend and assistant.

Gemma bent down, tossing the shirt into the actual laundry hamper and grabbed the June issue of Cosmo in exchange. Hot-date closet fits are never fun for the dateless friend, and Gemma had had enough. In her sixteen years on earth she could count her entire dating history on one hand, and watching leggy, blonde Dana Cox prepare for yet another night on the town just rubbed it in. Gemma could read every article in every Cosmo and still not get a guy. Skimming the pages, she paused on ‘How to Have Great Solo Sex’ and sighed.

Put your entries as comments, and make sure you use a valid email address—don’t worry, it won’t show up on the page. Good luck!!!

UPDATE: people seem to be a bit confused by this. Basically, I’m just hoping you’ll read the blurb from my book and write 5 things that the it makes you think of. There’s no “right” answer. I was just hoping it would be kinda fun!!!

PS-Back Talk is available at both US & UK Amazon. Just, you know, FYI…

Okay, first of all, I’m a dumb-ass. La Petite Fashionista tagged me with that “7 Things About Me” thing that’s been going around, and I suddenly remembered that I’d already been tagged. I’m retarded, what can I say. So I decided to do a Top 5 list instead—another one of my favorite pastimes…

1. My HUSBAND!!!!! hehehe. It still sounds funny to say that.

2. Summer in NEW YORK CITY!!! There is no better place than this for summer entertainment. If I didn’t get seasick so damn easily I would totally take the water taxi to a Mets game. And there’s Shakespeare in the park, and summer concert series’ (Andy and I met at a free Yo La Tengo concert in Prospect Park 5 years ago), and free movies! What’s better than a free movie in the park? Nuthin’, that’s what. Oh, man. My heart is pounding just thinking about all this summertime awesomeness.

3. BCBG. I go back and forth with BCBG, but I am really digging them right now. I wore this pretty green halter dress to my rehearsal dinner. It is so cute. And Andy bought me 2 adorable dresses for my birthday, but I can’t find pictures of them online (hmmm… maybe they’re knock offs… just kidding, boo.) Oh, wait, I do have a pic of one of them, but it’s kind of hard to see:

4. AFI’s Top 100 Movies. I LOVE movies, so I find those AFI lists endlessly fascinating. Last night we rented Doctor Zhivago (#39 on the Top 100). Okay, so maybe I fell asleep after 2 & a half hours (it’s 3 hours and 17 minutes long, for christs sake!), but it was good. Really good. Okay, not as good as I thought it was going to be. Julie Christie, although beautiful, is not the world’s best actress. But that’s ok. The cinematography kicked ass. And it’s an interesting slice of history. Next I think I’ll rent Sunset Boulevard.

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5. Insomnia Cookies. Can this be real? Am I dreaming? No, no. There really is a company that will deliver cookies to your doorstep ALL NIGHT LONG! I’ve yet to try this unbelievable godsend/service, but I’m definitely enticed. (I bet Emma is too, hehe!!) But seriously: What will they think of next?

Oh, and PS-I’m still hounding wedding photog about the pics. I will def. post them when I have ‘em.

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Buenas dias mi amigas! I’m back, and let me tell you, my wedding KICKED ASSSSSS!

I’m still waiting for the pics from our wedding photographer, but DIZZAMN it was awesome. Not that I’ve been to many weddings—and obviously I’ve never been to my own wedding before—but it was the most freakin’ amazing/off da chain/bizzomb wedding ever. Serio. The weather was perfect. Andy looked completely adorable in his trendy, skinny suit. And I looked pretty fantabulous in my wedding dress!

One minor hiccup: the DJ was having so much fun watching our ceremony that he forgot to play the recessional music. That kind of pissed me off since Andy and I had spent, like, 3 days trying to choose our song (Two of Us by The Beatles)… I wanted to throw my bouquet at the stupid DJ’s head and scream “Wake up, dickface! I’m not paying you to stand around with your thumb up your ass!” But I’m not a crazy movie star BIATCH, so I just smiled and pretended not to care. I mean, worse things could’ve happened, right? I didn’t trip and fall, or vomit all over Andy, or hyperventilate—all scenarios I had prepared myself for.

Okay, I don’t want to bore you guys with too many details (yes I do, but I’m trying to restrain myself!!), but I do want to show you guys what Andy gave me as a wedding present. It should look familiar to most of you out there in Blogland:

It’s called “Into You Goes Everything I Know” and it’s by Jennifer Gordon at Stiletto Heights! Thanks Jenn!! I told Andy how much I love your stuff, and he got me something. I am one lucky bride. He got a gorgeous frame for it, and now we just have to find somewhere in our small apartment to put it. If anyone has ideas about how to mount shit on the ceiling, please let me know.

< Here's what I gave Andy as a wedding present. It's kind of hard to tell what that is from this picture, but it's handwritten lyrics to "Night Nurse"---our first dance song. I emailed the band, Dean & Britta, and asked them if they would do it, and they very kindly said yes. And wrote congrats at the bottom, under the lyrics. Kind of a cool gift, if I do say so myself.

Oh, I also made him a silly Tshirt at neighborhoodies that says Marriage is Awesome on the front, and I’m Not A Loser Anymore on the back. It’s kind of a long story, but we used to have this friend who went around flaunting her boyfriend in everyone’s face and saying “I finally have a boyfriend! Look! I’m not a loser anymore.” It was so ridiculous that we’ve been quoting her ever since.

Anyways… sorry for the rambling. It was just so much fun! I even requested Peter Bjorn & John from the DJ to get the party going. OK, I’m getting totally sick of that song now because I request it every single time I see a DJ, but you gotta admit it’s catchy and fun to dance to. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I might even be starting to like reggaeton. Maybe it’s just all that Rum I drank in Puerto Rico…

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More pics to come. Thanks for all the awesome congratulatory comments you guys!!!! Can’t wait to read what kinda trouble you all have been up to!

Wedding Day! Holy $#@*!! I am so nervous, excited, stressed, happy, yada yada yada. Whoa, I just can’t believe how fast it came. It’s hotter than Josh Hartnett up here at the wedding locale, so I hope we don’t all pass out from heat stroke. That would suck!

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My sister, India, threw me the most wicked, kick ass bachelorette party ever. (No strippers, thank god!). And if you’ve never been black-light bowling (or some people call it “cosmic bowling”), I totally recommend it—and bring an invisible pen that only shows up under black light. They’re highly entertaining. …And then we went dancing. 80′s music all night—Yeah!

Oh, and if anyone’s interested, there are 2 online interviews about my book (and me). One at teensreadtoo.com, and another one at Little Willow’s website! If you’ve got a sec, hope you’ll check ‘em out, as I am an absolutely fascinating person (cough, giggle, eye-roll).

Anyway, I better go so I can get married, and then Andy and I are off to sunny (it effing better be, anyway) Puerto Rico. Ay-ay-aaay!

Wish me luck guys. Be back soon…

Have any of you ever done those Crest whitening strips? I’m doing the twice-a-day-for-seven-days kind, in hopes of having a blindingly white n’ beautiful smile for the wedding.

(However, if I ever end up looking like one of these super-smiley ass-hats, somebody please shoot me. Having white teeth shouldn’t look the same as an orgasm.)

But back to the strips—DIZZAMN. I’ve only been doing them for 4 days, and my teeth are fricken throbbing with pain! I feel like I just ate three candybars and gargled with 5 cans of coke, and then sunk my teeth into an ice cream cone. throb. throb. ache. ouch.

Okay, so it’s not quite that bad, but it’s partially true. Why do we go through all this to be beautiful? I’m such a sucker for the whole “no pain no gain” thing. Actually, now that I think about it, that’s like, my life’s motto. I bleach the teeth, I wax, I go to the stupid gym 24/7. It’s a nightmare. But you’ve got to admit it feels pretty good when all the pain pays off and someone tells you how great you look. That’s kind of amazing.

So, today’s question, should you choose to answer it:

What lengths have you gone to for beauty?

Plastic surgery is an obvious answer, but I think we’re all too poor to afford that, am I right? Besides, plastic surgery scares the crap out of me. I mean, there’s “no pain no gain” and then there’s “holy f*cken shit, are you CRAZY?!” I think I fall somewhere in between.

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And in other random news, did anyone read this story in the New York Times today? Apparently there is cocaine floating around in the air in Rome. Uh, excuse me? WHAT?!?! Cocaine in the AIR?
Alls I’m sayin’ is, if you go to Rome this summer and find yourself with a LOT more energy than usual, there *might* be an illegally charged explanation. They say it’s only trace amounts—like .1 nanograms (whatever the F a nanogram actually is)—but still, I find that hilarious. And apparently it’s mostly in the La Sapienza University vicinity. Hmmm… I wonder why that is… lol.