What a bunch of tools.

My sister just sent me a link to this article, and I almost died laughing:
NYPD Re-Introduces Segway Patrols On City Parks, Beaches

Apparently they used to have Segways, but took them out of rotation in 2004 because the officers could be “in danger” when the Segway’s batteries ran low. GASP! I wonder what happens when you’re on a Segway and the battery dies? No, no, it’s too horrible to imagine. But seriously: cops on Segways? This picture is all I can think of when I hear that. A million Gob’s on segways in police uniforms zooming around central park.

Can we just stop for a minute and picture how AWESOME that is going to look?

In other news, my beloved Veronica Mars was canceled. I know I’m the only one who cares, but still, I had to report it. The lineup for the Crap-W this fall is going to be like a crazy circus. According to cnn.com there’s:

Gossip Girl, based on Cecily Von Zeigesar’s mondo-popular YA series (god, I want to have her life SO BAD!!) about bitchy private school teens in NYC. Oh, and I think Josh Schwartz (of the OC fame) is head writer.

Aliens in America: About a high school student trying to adjust to the new Pakistani exchange student. (sounds cheesy, but maybe I’m being too un-Patriotic.)

Life is Wild
: A drama about a New York City family spending a year at a game reserve in South Africa. (OK, lets take bets on how fast that ones gonna get cancelled. Two episodes? Five?

Reaper: 21-year-old guy’s parents sold his soul to the devil and he’s assigned to track down evil escapees from hell. (Wait–isn’t Supernatural already a CW show?)

I have such a love/hate relationship with TV. There are so few shows I like… and I have a feeling the CW will not be reeling me in this fall.

But a quick shout out to Jaslene on ANTM. Okay, I cannot lie: I was routing for Nata, but it’s cool. JasQueen is going to do great things for the tranny community.

About alexgirl

I'm a YA novelist livin' in fabulous Brooklyn with my husband and our two kitties. I love film making, photography, music, chocolate, sushi, friends, cardio, TV, and a bunch of other crap I can't think of. One published novel, Back Talk, available at Amazon. (and another one in progress!)
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25 Responses to What a bunch of tools.

  1. jayne says:

    haha yea, i think they actually would catch more crooks that way because they wouldn’t be able to stop laughing at how stupid the cops look! yea i think when they’re on low battery they can like topple over, oh god the cop trapped underneath one! the horror of humiliation. actually bush fell off one of them hehe…

    wow! the cw is soon going to be cancelled as an entire channel! ugg, gossip girl is intriguing, esp w/ schwartz, but the rest are either too cornball to last 30minutes let alone the whole pilot or they may be screwball enough to work…either way there is def too much pot going around those offices…;-)

  2. andy says:

    Here’s the iconic “George W Bush falling off a Segway” picture.

    If this brings a park full of Gobs on Segways to mind, are they all wearing velcro-tear-off trousers?

    I’m surprised the NYPD can afford Segways, you’d think they need to save their pennies to pay the GINORMOUS lawsuit they’re trying to settle for the Republican convention arrests.

  3. BWAHAHAHA!!! First, Gob is AMAZING. So is/was Arrested Development. Second, GWB turfing himself off a Segway? Priceless.

  4. 1st ,RIP ,Veronica Mars
    2nd,I know all my taste is in my mouth ,but hey, that Reaper show sounds kinda fun!

  5. alex says:

    bleh…. new shows bore me. especially when they cant even think of a title for the show that doesnt remind me of a discount pre-teen read. “gossip girl”?! jeeezus!

    i apologize for the snottiness. i had a sucky day…

    about my bangin’ bangs (heh heh heh) ive gotten mixed reactions. one of my best friends (who just so happened to contribute to the overall suckiness of my day) said i looked old and mom-like.

    (see? even when im talking about my bangs-that i love soo- im being a snot. apology #2!)

    but other that the few retards that dont like it, everyone else said they were very sheek and sleek and whatnot. woo!

  6. Dona says:

    I read VM was cancelled (Sniff :(n ) I loved season 1 with a passion…season 2…well…hmm.

    I am looking fwd to Gossip Girls…the fame, the fortune, the sluttiness!!!

  7. Celise says:

    I doubt I’ll be watching GG because I didn’t like the book. I was taking an online YA teenlit course and the first GG was required reading. As was Sarah Mylnowski. I liked Sarah’s book better. I might have to watch The Reaper so I can see how much of Supernatural they ripped off.

  8. Dan says:

    Everytime I see one of these Segways I am overcome by this compulsion to head over to eBay and put a bid on a grenade launcher.

  9. I rode a segway once….they are ridiculous.

    and for the record, I rode one in a skirt and 4 inch heels and I did not fall off, there is NO excuse for G.W

  10. Jody says:

    OH my, the segways will be so freakin’ rad. And yeah, I am so excited for Gossip Girls. I am sure I will get much more bashing from the beloved BF for watching shows “13 yr olds” watch. What’s wrong with 13 yr olds? HUH? I loved being 13.

  11. NomadGirl says:

    Bummer! How could I miss ANTM last night!@? Thanks for the recap, though. Now I will always remember where I was when I found out Jasleen won ANTM. I had reminders plastered on sticky notes everywhere. I hadn’t watched all season, but thank god for the VH-1 marathon last weekend. I liked them all, and yeah, I was rooting for Natasha, too…and a little for Renee, I confess, since she’s in debt and with child–kinda trumps the bitch factor–I think she’s just stressin’–which although I can’t relate to her sitch, I can sympathize with her. Tranny powers activate!

  12. pins&needles says:

    Cops on segways? If the battery dies, then looks like you need actually walk on foot or else you just have to remember to charge them up every day. I’m not sure what the “danger” maybe if the battery’s low.

    I try not to watch the TV too often. It’ll turn your brain into mush if you’re not careful, unless if its educational and stimulating.

    Gossip Girls is gonna be a show?! What the hell? I know all about the books, but never read them. Sorry! I don’t get my kicks out from reading about snotty rich girls who have Paris Hilton lives. Plus, I’ve seen too many books like the Private series and the It Girl series when I worked in a bookstore. Hhhhmmm…. maybe one of the girls will go to prison for 45 days or maybe gets addicted to coke. Then I’d watch it.

  13. My hubby is a cop and if he had to ride a segueway I would fear for him more than I do now. 🙂 That stinks about VM, I have to admit I haven’t watched for a while though, but it was a great show. Happy weekend!


  14. emma says:

    JASQUEEN IS SPREADING! I am doing my Dance O’Pride. Which looks odd, I’m not going to lie.
    Ugh, I hate the Gossip Girl books. But I cannot tell a lie- that just means I’ll probably love to hate the show.

  15. emma says:

    JASQUEEN IS SPREADING! I am doing my Dance O’Pride, which I must say looks odd.
    Ugh, I hate the Gossip Girl books, but I cannot tell a lie- that just means I’ll probably love to hate the TV show.

  16. seb says:

    Segways seem so ridiculous. I remember seeing a cop on one in Chicago, and I felt terrible for the guy. I think bikes are better.

  17. emma says:

    God, I hate Gossip Girl. But I can’t wait to love to hate the show. And I’m so glad JasQueen is spreading!

  18. Alexa says:

    I dunno what it is…but Segways kind of creep me out.

    I don’t mind Gossip Girl…but a TV show sounds kinda gay.

    *Sigh* It’s only a matter of time before they cancel my favorite CW show, Supernatural

  19. Crazy Eddie says:

    I think it would be even cooler to see cops on those motorized JAZZY’S. Pimped out with 8-inch rims and a banging CB radio.

    As a New Yorker I look forward to seeing a cop chase a crook on one of those things. LMAO

    Love you more than Cheez Whiz on Pita Bread.


  20. -ciao bella- says:

    HAHA! i am like dying laughing right now. i tried riding one and it’s really weird.

  21. I tried riding Segways and I felt so ridiculous! Gossip Girls is going to be that kind of show we hate, but we can not live without!

  22. sara says:

    I can just imagin how funny the cops are going to look on those segways. And do they really excpect to be taken seriously on one of those.
    Books into movies, good idea. But books into tv shows, i’m not sure about that. I can just imagine a bunch of horrible actresses playing a bunch of skanks. But hey, I could be wrong.

    Aliens in America might have a chance if it’s really good.

    Life is Wild, well I’m saying 2 episodes.
    Reaper, idk, maybe it has a chance at one full season.

    Over all the CW is not the best tv network.

    x sara o

    Yeah for Jaslene

  23. emma says:

    Did you see the SNL thing? “New York cops have been given Segways in an effort to increase murder.” Heh.

  24. sophie says:

    i am a bit skeptical about the gossip girl show. but i have to tune in to see it.

  25. WAT says:


    Just look at the prez falling out of the Segway. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH! Boy, you talk about one dude having so many dumb clumsy moments, this guy IS IT.

    What a dork!

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