When I was little it was all about Cabbage Patch Kids. I was crazy about them (even though now I think they’re so creepy I can’t even look at them without furrowing my brow and making a yucky face). I had a cute little black cabbage patch kid in a Mets uniform that I named Daryl Strawberry (uh, that was before the coke problem when he was still a “role model”). I also had this fugly redhead with yarn hair that was missing patches–maybe she was a chemo patch kid or something. I can’t even remember what her name was. But anyway, they were the bomb, and everyone who was anyone had one.
That was then… Now I’m totally in love with Gloomy Bear. (In Japan they pronounce it Groomy Bearu)

What’s not to love about a violent, adorable pink teddy bear with sharp, bloody claws and a penchant for human flesh? I mean, seriously? Gloomy was designed to be the antithesis of all things Disney and Sanrio/Hello Kitty, and I think we can ALL appreciate THAT!
And Gloomy Bear sends out an important message—

Boys and Girls: animals are meant to be left in their natural habitat, and if you try to bring them home and acclimate them to your environment, they will probably beat the living $#@t out of you and eat you! You know, just FYI…

Anyway, I know Gloomy Bear is incredibly tasteless but I think he’s fabulous, not to mention the rainbow of colors and styles he comes in… camo, panda bear, with or without bloody claws–I mean, what other doll do you know that comes with optional bloody claws? Priceless! It kind of reminds me of the psycho killer dolls in that 70’s flick, Barbarella. You know, the one with Jane Fonda? Okay, it’s a totally weird movie and kind of dated, but really trippy and funny.

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So that’s my schpeel on Gloomy Bear. And I’ll leave you with this:

(pic from chax.net)

Spring is here, and all that it entails.

Ballet flats as far as the eye can see, critical mass plowing down the streets, outdoor seating, a million new trends (My absolute favorite: the space-age futuristic-goddess look at the Balenciaga runway show), spring break (not like I’m even in school, but whatevs), no more puffy coats, the orchid show at the Bronx Botanical Gardens… the list goes on and on and I LOVE it, don’t you? What do you love (or hate) about spring?

But along with the good comes the seriously annoying. Call it spring “drunk-off-my-ass” fever. In the past 2 days I’ve encountered two guys that were so beyond hammered they literally couldn’t even speak. I mean, who wants to get so f*ck’d up that you can’t even form words? (Okay, I’ve been there once or twice, but that’s another story).

It’s almost as if, along with the snow, all the crazies have melted. I live in New York and there are always gonna be nutters roaming the streets, but somehow it seems like they multiply in the spring. Here’s my theory: in the winter, we’re all heads-down and don’t-look-where-you’re-going-just-zip-up-your-coat-and-get-there. But in the spring we stop to smell the flowers. We stroll, we smile, we gaze, we sip, we nibble, and therefore, we’re more likely to notice a big pile of loco slumped in front of our apartment building, reeking of malt liquor and slurring about Jesus and the economy and shit.
I say: Embrace it. Love it. Try not to get too wigged out by it. It’s spring god damn it… margarita time!