Watch this video. http://youtube.com/watch?v=10VmJ-8XGA4 It’s seriously disturbing, and it almost gave me a heart attack. But it’s funny.
http://www.modgirl.com/
http://www.indiebride.com/index.html
X-Files reruns
“The Clique” series by Lisi Harrison
Dr. Mario on my trusty-yet-ancient Nintendo
Acadamy Awards nominations–ooooh!
My book really IS going to be published — July 1st, 2007.
Pre-order your copy of Back Talk today!
JULIE F: Dolly Parton, obviously.
ANDY: Daniel Craig, after a Christian-Bale-in-the-Machinist-esque de-muscle-ification program.
PATRICK: Larry David. “Incest? With your step-father. Does that count?”. Genius.
ERIK: Divine
HEATH: George Cloony
AMY: Disney’s Pocahantas’ fat cousin.
NICK C: I don’t know, but I should play Nicolas Cage in his biopic!
DAD: For me, it’s a tough call between Gregory Peck and Jimmy Stewart, if we’re using the entire range of the movie era. If it’s being done today, let me think…..George Clooney? Morgan Freeman in whiteface? I guess I’d have to go with Johnny Depp.
WENDY: Drew Barrymore
ADAM: Johnny Depp after a particularly nasty bender, but before the rehab. He should try, if possible, to refrain from shitting for 3 days in order to properly mimic my typical facial expression.
DAVE S: i don’t know who would play me in the movie. i quickly searched “movie star ginger” to see if any humorous possibilities might show up and i was given a choice between Ginger Rogers and 3,000 porn stars. tough call.
ALEX H: Steve Buscemi–dude needs a leading role.
INDIA: Hmmm…if she were alive, I’d say Ava Gardner, but as for someone alive…I guess I’ll go with Ione Sky (people used to tell me I looked like her, who the hell knows!?!)
GABE: Jeff Goldblum and Harold Ramis’ love child
CAITLIN: Audrey Hepburn
RACHEL: Who else but Myself! Is that conceited? Ok, alright, if I had to cast a well known… I would cast Mila Jovavich (she probably would not work with me, because I cannot spell her name correctly! Besides, I’m less expensive…..)
TAD: Peter O’Toole
MOM: If I were choosing someone from the past I’d pick Kate Hepburn, but from now maybe I’d have to go with Cate Blanchett (she has a good range, she looks good with all colors of hair, and I think they’d age her well, AND she’d look good bald for the chemo scenes.)
STEVE W: Jack Black. He’s fat and likes bad music, if he grew a beard he could be me, but cool.
ME: Linda Carter/Wonder Woman.
What is the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
That’s how many fingers I now have–for a while anyway. The doctor says it will grow back….
It was a cold and snowy Christmas eve and I was trying to be a good daughter by helping prep Christmas dinner. My mom has this amazing poblano chili/potato recipe that calls for uniformly sliced potatoes, and I offered to chop. Now I could have used a knife like a normal person, but my mom has this awesome contraption called a mandolin that gives you perfectly uniform slices of potato–and finger, as the case may be. At first the blade seemed dull so I was really jamming those potatoes through, but after a few spuds I was on a roll and those puppies were flying through–until… Holy $#%*! I felt the blade tear through my skin and I jumped backwards, hopping and writhing in pain while Andy turned on the faucet for me to wash the cut clean. Only it wasn’t just a cut.
“Uh, Alex? I think we have to go to hospital,” Andy panicked in his cute British accent. He ran past me with his hands cupped together as if he were holding something. “There’s a huge chunk of finger over here!”
I didn’t want to believe it. How could I have chopped my finger off? Bad things aren’t supposed to happen to good people on xmas eve! But after my family assessed the hacked off nub, it was decided that we should put the tip of my finger in a bag with ice and head for the hospital.
Fortunately there’s this emergency care Dr’s office in town and we were seen immediately. Now, the next part of the story won’t be very clear because both Andy and my sister wouldn’t let me see the wound while the doctor peeled off the bloody bandages; cut off circulation to stop the blood flow to my finger; and then cauterized the wound with silver nitrate. But I didn’t have to see it to feel the prickling, pulsating pain running up and down my right ring finger. Ouch. Big time.
I writhed and whimpered, trying to be cavalier while the friendly doctor made lighthearted jokes as he gouged and poked my bloody stub. “You cut off the fat pad of your finger,” he informed. “Cheer up! Most women are glad to get rid of fat!”
About fifteen minutes later (after the doc was sure the bleeding had subsided), we walked back to the car with a bottle of Vicodin and the unused tip of my finger that Andy would later throw away. I spent Christmas day floating on a puffy cloud of painkillers and longing for the days when my fingers added up to a complete set of ten. Ah, good times.
(For a pic of the gaping wound, just ask!!)
